Performance anxiety

OK, I know I've been a little lax in my getting this bike build done. Life, well, it sometimes gets in the way, and honestly, sometimes I need a little distraction from it all. And yes, I know that this bike was supposed to be that distraction, and it still is, trust me. But I guess when I look at it and start to only see what's gonna cost me money to change/alter/fix, I get a little discouraged and just stop. And stare.

But last night was one of those times, and a little bit like this morning was, too. I made myself get out of bed at 5:am and go for a nice hike before work. And before it gets to ridiculous degree around here, too. So- good for the bod and good for the mind. So last night I'm doing a little mental butt kicking of my own dang self and getting that buzz to work on her some more.

Of course, I've got a paddle boarding day I've been wanting to do for weeks and I'm trying to not put that off any longer, and that's Saturday. And I'm supposed to do a golf outing with the managers here at work on Sunday, which although will be in the morning hours and I should be home early afternoon and have some time to do some things that evening on the bike.

That's the good 'ol plan anyway.

Still, it's funny how the picture changes in the mind about the bike. At the beginning, it was soooo dramatic, all these changes. Even just taking this big cruiser looking thing and stripping off parts and piling them on the floor makes for some good drama. The transformation... it was inspiring to continue on and make more, and so on.  The trouble is that for a couple months the visual transformation hasn't happened. At all. She's looked like this for a while now, so any progress is semi invisible, and being the visual guy that I am, it's less of a drive to work on her.

Yeah, I know I should hardly be admitting these intimate details of my psyche on national inter-webs like this...

And yeah, I do have the tank to get on with, geesh. I seriously need to get off my ass for that one. I've even got the plan for that, and that part took weeks!

So yes, admittedly I've been slow and I need to get back in gear already. Shiny objects have been closer than they appear. Maybe that's it.

And there's also been a little bit of emotional push and pull again lately, and that always seems to either bring me back to a normal frame of mind, or thrust me backwards, which then takes time to dig out of that hole again.

Maybe a weekend filled with actual normal, man made activities of fun will help spawn some emotions to work on the bike again. I know just being on a hike this morning made all the difference, so that's a good thing. Gotta get back on the bike, and gotta get get on with the ride.

All metaphors included in that one, folks.